Placid As She Goes

Some days, things fall apart, and some days, things come together. Some days, things fall apart and come together in the same day. Today was that kind of day. We've been here before, Fans, and Julie writes this post with both a triumphal heart, and heavy one.

After dinner, the usual silliness ensued. As Julie was trudging out of the bathroom with the bath toys, and Joe was asking her like a would-be smart alec "Why are you moving the bath toys?", she thought, "Let's take a different tack." She's a believer in high bars. They have never failed her. And frankly, she's never too excited to hunker down on the floor in her nice work pants in the smallest room of the house surrounded by porcelain things that can smack her in the head so who cares if the bambini weren't bathed tonight? And so, she started flat out ignoring EVERYTHING the bambini did. Everything included:

• Waving their toothbrushes in the air, screaming
• Waving their tubes of toothpaste in the air, screaming
• Running around naked, screaming
• Removing all of the items from the bin that holds Clara's diaper changing supplies, unfurling as many of the diapers as possible, removing Kleenex from the box (but only two!--?????), and removing wipes from the container (here again: only one!--?????), screaming
• Removing all of the items from the bin that holds Clara's diaper changing supplies (a classic never dies, Fans), unfurling as many of the diapers as possible, and applying lotion to legs (Joe only), not screaming--concentrating (Joe) and mesmerized (Birdie)
• Removing the following games and puzzles from the shelf in their room, opening all of the boxes and removing all of the pieces: Memory, Moody Monsters (Memory, but with monsters exhibiting different moods on the cards), the alphabet matching game, Candyland (game board was a mountain, pieces mountain climbers--sliders?), Chutes & Ladders, and the four small Thomas puzzles, screaming
• Running around screaming and slipping on lotion covered legs (too busy running and screaming and trying to make one's mother watching out of the very, very corner of her eye pay attention to him to stop and wail), screaming with brief pause

Throughout all of this, Julie placidly did the dishes. Then, she placidly removed everything from the top of the refrigerator. Then, she placidly picked up various things one by one and as she did so, placidly put them on top of the refrigerator.

She was a study in placidity. She was, if she does say so herself, a study in magnificence!

By the time she'd finished, Joe was still trying to think of something he could do with the Candyland game board that would elicit a reaction, but Clara had caught up to, or on to, Julie: Birdie had set herself down on her changing pad and was trying to figure out how to put on her pajamas. So Julie changed Clara and took her into the living room to read one story, while Joe asked if he could do a quiet activity. (We do not make this last up. Julie maintained placidity and did not laugh.)

Instead, Julie, placidly, said no and sailed on. A rather befuddled Joe accompanied the Birds to the living room, where he was soon back in the swing of things trying to climb on the chair. Birdie listened to the story (You Are My I Love You*, which Julie read as much for herself as for Clara), and then Julie carried her into bed.

She walked out of the bambini's room holding Joe's pajamas and informed him--placidly--that it was time to put them on and go to bed. He said "But I want to do a quiet activity." Julie placidly said that there was no time since he'd spent so much time being silly. Then he said, "But I want to read books." Julie placidly said that there was no time for that either. Joe wailed.

Julie placidly read the Styles section from Sunday's Times at the dining room table.

Eventually, Our Hero donned his pajamas, and settled himself in the chair in the living room with a Thomas the Tank Engine pre-reader form the library with which he is taken at the moment, and In The Night Kitchen, which Julie heard him trying to "read." When he was done, Julie placidly told him it was time for bed. He sputtered some half-hearted, over before it started protest and then walked to the bambini's room.

After he was under his covers, he informed Julie that when Clara was talking, he was going to go to sleep. Again, we do not make this up.

Julie walked out of the room, outwardly placid, but inwardly a swirl of emotions: proud to have set the bar high and demanded the bambini rise; prouder still to have seen them rise, each in their own way; sad that Ted was not with her to share the triumph; and heavy-hearted that she didn't get to read books with Joe.

It was sort of a pyrrhic victory, but a victory (for today anyway), nevertheless.

*http://joeandclara.blogspot.com/2011/06/it-was-big-weekend-in-still-other-ways.html