T Minus 28, and Counting

Joe, almost five

Fans, as you know, Our Hero will turn five in less than a month.  Who can believe it?!  As our longtime Fans know, we here at Raleigh House are ourselves huge fans--of the backyard birthday fete. But it is true that the wee ones are getting less and less wee, and after last year's birthday bash, our yard (and the front stoop) were more than a bit worse for the wear.  So even before our impending move came together as quickly as it did, making a backyard birthday bash tricky to pull off, we'd decided to celebrate Joe's fifth birthday offsite, if you will.

The bash will be at Kiddywampus, which has a few themed parties from which one can choose.  Joe will be the guest of honor at an "Action Jackson" party: "Release your inner Jackson Pollock and thorw paint against our 'magical' giant studio wall. . .this experience is something you can't do anywhere else! Throw, splatter and dribble paint to create unique works of art.  Each guest will create two 18" x 24" action paintings that the guest can take home and frame.  As a special treat, one of the birthday child's masterpieces will be on a 18" x 24" stretched canvas."

Fans, don't you think pitching paint against the walls sounds like one of the most fabulous things you could do as a five-year-old?  It would be like being given 10 tubes of toothpaste and squeezing all that toothpaste out.  Or wear pajamas and tap shoes all day long.  Or whirl around with outstretched arms filled with glitter that scatters everywhere.

The cost of this sure-to-be-glorious extravaganza includes the birthday child and 10 of his nearest and dearest.  Additional nearest and dearests cost extra.  There are nearly 30 kids in Joe's class, some of whom--you will recall, Dear Readers--have just joined the pre-K room, so for at least two reasons, we do not plan to invite the whole of the pre-K classroom.  We explained as much to Joe, and then put it to him: "Who would you like to invite to your birthday party?"

Joe said, "Well, like, all my friends. [beat] You should know who they are by now."

Indeed.

When pressed, he named the partygoers we might have suspected.  (It may interest you to know that this will be a co-ed fete, Fans.)

But there is also this: Joe was quite specific that he did not want one of his classmates invited because "He's mean.  You know, he pushes and punches people."

Now, as much as one's heart aches a bit for this classmate, this reporter will also admit that her heart thrilled a bit, to know that her kind-hearted son is apparently sorting out that not everyone is such, and that sometimes, you need to take precautions.

Good thing.  Because we don't think Kiddywampus has bouncers.