Placid As She Goes

Some days, things fall apart, and some days, things come together. Some days, things fall apart and come together in the same day. Today was that kind of day. We've been here before, Fans, and Julie writes this post with both a triumphal heart, and heavy one.

After dinner, the usual silliness ensued. As Julie was trudging out of the bathroom with the bath toys, and Joe was asking her like a would-be smart alec "Why are you moving the bath toys?", she thought, "Let's take a different tack." She's a believer in high bars. They have never failed her. And frankly, she's never too excited to hunker down on the floor in her nice work pants in the smallest room of the house surrounded by porcelain things that can smack her in the head so who cares if the bambini weren't bathed tonight? And so, she started flat out ignoring EVERYTHING the bambini did. Everything included:

• Waving their toothbrushes in the air, screaming
• Waving their tubes of toothpaste in the air, screaming
• Running around naked, screaming
• Removing all of the items from the bin that holds Clara's diaper changing supplies, unfurling as many of the diapers as possible, removing Kleenex from the box (but only two!--?????), and removing wipes from the container (here again: only one!--?????), screaming
• Removing all of the items from the bin that holds Clara's diaper changing supplies (a classic never dies, Fans), unfurling as many of the diapers as possible, and applying lotion to legs (Joe only), not screaming--concentrating (Joe) and mesmerized (Birdie)
• Removing the following games and puzzles from the shelf in their room, opening all of the boxes and removing all of the pieces: Memory, Moody Monsters (Memory, but with monsters exhibiting different moods on the cards), the alphabet matching game, Candyland (game board was a mountain, pieces mountain climbers--sliders?), Chutes & Ladders, and the four small Thomas puzzles, screaming
• Running around screaming and slipping on lotion covered legs (too busy running and screaming and trying to make one's mother watching out of the very, very corner of her eye pay attention to him to stop and wail), screaming with brief pause

Throughout all of this, Julie placidly did the dishes. Then, she placidly removed everything from the top of the refrigerator. Then, she placidly picked up various things one by one and as she did so, placidly put them on top of the refrigerator.

She was a study in placidity. She was, if she does say so herself, a study in magnificence!

By the time she'd finished, Joe was still trying to think of something he could do with the Candyland game board that would elicit a reaction, but Clara had caught up to, or on to, Julie: Birdie had set herself down on her changing pad and was trying to figure out how to put on her pajamas. So Julie changed Clara and took her into the living room to read one story, while Joe asked if he could do a quiet activity. (We do not make this last up. Julie maintained placidity and did not laugh.)

Instead, Julie, placidly, said no and sailed on. A rather befuddled Joe accompanied the Birds to the living room, where he was soon back in the swing of things trying to climb on the chair. Birdie listened to the story (You Are My I Love You*, which Julie read as much for herself as for Clara), and then Julie carried her into bed.

She walked out of the bambini's room holding Joe's pajamas and informed him--placidly--that it was time to put them on and go to bed. He said "But I want to do a quiet activity." Julie placidly said that there was no time since he'd spent so much time being silly. Then he said, "But I want to read books." Julie placidly said that there was no time for that either. Joe wailed.

Julie placidly read the Styles section from Sunday's Times at the dining room table.

Eventually, Our Hero donned his pajamas, and settled himself in the chair in the living room with a Thomas the Tank Engine pre-reader form the library with which he is taken at the moment, and In The Night Kitchen, which Julie heard him trying to "read." When he was done, Julie placidly told him it was time for bed. He sputtered some half-hearted, over before it started protest and then walked to the bambini's room.

After he was under his covers, he informed Julie that when Clara was talking, he was going to go to sleep. Again, we do not make this up.

Julie walked out of the room, outwardly placid, but inwardly a swirl of emotions: proud to have set the bar high and demanded the bambini rise; prouder still to have seen them rise, each in their own way; sad that Ted was not with her to share the triumph; and heavy-hearted that she didn't get to read books with Joe.

It was sort of a pyrrhic victory, but a victory (for today anyway), nevertheless.

*http://joeandclara.blogspot.com/2011/06/it-was-big-weekend-in-still-other-ways.html

All Big Bird

Birdie Brigade, you should see Our Girl. All of a sudden, she is so big--so tall! She is bigger every day in other ways, too. This morning, Julie was getting Birdie dressed, and as Juliegathered the shirt up and made to put around Clara's head and pull it down, Clara reached up, and firmly and surely pulled that shirt down. Brigade, you should have seen the smile on the face that poked through as the shirt came down. She's got it goin' on.

She's very independent, with a determined will, and comes to things in her own time. Birdie teaches one to keep the faith, because usually, if she thinks she's got it, she does. Like lately, sometimes, she's been balking at getting herself together at pick-up. Other times, she's all coat--boom! Hat--boom! Mittens--boom! And we're off like prom dresses!

Last Friday, she made to put her boots on to go home, and when Julie said, "No boots," (because we have a pair that stays at home) Birdie pitched herself on the floor, wailing. She then declined to put on her coat, as well as her hat and mittens. But a half an hour later, she was flipping her coat on over her head to cheers. Today, was a boom-boom-boom! day. She missed one sleeve on the first pass, and self-corrected and no, she didn't need help with that, thanks very much. But you can clap and sheer if you want. Clapping and cheering are always welcome.

Who can say why one day she's on the floor and the next she's flippin' and flappin'? But Our Birdie is made a strong stuff, and maddening though it is likely to be, and right soon at that, there is something so fabulously appealing about someone with such determination and gumption.

Today, we were told that in another month's time, Birdie will be transitioning to the "Twos" room, with Ms. Manisha and Ms. Marjorie, who also taught Joe when he was the same age. It's the room in which we drop Bridie off in the morning. Lately, she walks right in and we all give her a kiss and then say good-bye, and off she goes all see you on the flip, all Big Bird.

Cupcake Day

Some days, things fall apart, and some days, things come together. Some days, things fall apart and come together in the same day. Today was that kind of day.

It started off well enough, but Julie knew things had taken a turn for Sigh, Really? Ville when Joe dashed off to the bambini's room with a gleam in his eye that meant, no, of course he was not going to change out of his pajamas and into school clothes the way he is supposed to every morning. Instead, he was going to tear back out into the living room to relocate the cupcake kitchen and all its contents hither and yon. Julie, in the big kitchen, doing the breakfast dishes (She is a self-starter! Leading by example!), thought to herself, "You've said it once. He knows what he is supposed to be doing. Ignore the unwanted behaviors. Acknowledge the ones you like." Probably about the time she was thinking the word "acknowledge," was about the time she heard Joe delightedly bellow, "And now I got to throw these on the floor!" These, Fans, would be the miniature utensils residing in the cupcake kitchen's drawer. Julie knows because by this time, she'd angrily stripped off her dishwashing gloves, flung them and the sponge into the sink, and stormed into the living room to announce she was going to count to five and if Joseph Trump wasn't in his room and beginning to get out of his pajamas by the time she got to five, then she would be doing it all for him. That's how Julie and Joe wound up in Joe's room with Julie removing Joe's pajamas, while he trashed around, wailing, and loudly informing him that tomorrow, he could make different choices if he didn't like how things were unfolding now. At one point, while he thrashed about, he was on the bed, and then, naturally, he fell off. It's a drop of only a foot, of course, but one would think Joe had plummeted from a second story window or some such.

Clara came in with a pretend orange and then beat a hasty retreat all, "This orange looks delish. I'm gonna go pretend to eat it in the living room."

So things sort of fell apart there.

By day's end, she had her game face back on. She left St. Paul at 4:02pm, and made it across town in record time. She pulled up to the KinderCare at 4:35pm, and headed inside to tell Our Hero that it was--A CUPCAKE DAY! She was met with a gasp of delight. Joe was so excited that he forgot he had to follow Julie down the hall to collect Birdie.

We met Graham, Connor, and Sara at Yum! for dinner, and Fans, the bambini were rockstars--ROCKSTARS! They sat calmly at the table while Julie ordered. They ate their macaroni and cheese and chicken fingers in happy companionship while making convivial conversational sallies. Joe kept his straw in his drink the entire time, and Birdie, most of the time. They stayed in their seats. In short, "restaurant behavior" abounded.

"Cupcake day!"

"I see you!"

By the time Julie and the bambini arrived at home, it was bath time. Joe quickly did away with the possibility of playing with bath toys, but Julie is pleased to say she delivered the news calmly and quietly, and Joe said only, "No!" with a pout to which Julie was already turning her back, which really took the wind out of those sails. Sadly, bubbles and "doing something" [while Clara was read to] were also dispatched in short order, but happily, again, Julie meted out the consequences calmly and quietly. Somehow, a major bambini uprising was quelled, at least this evening.

There was, however, an additional matter to discuss. Julie was told that Joe had some trouble following directions today. Apparently, "some trouble following directions" meant that he merrily followed the lead of a friend who was putting noodles on his fingers at lunch. Julie and Joe talked all about how there are times we play, and then there are times we eat, and covered off on which of the two breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snack time are--i.e. not times we put noodles on our fingers. Then Julie said something like, "Pal-o, you're going to have to learn to think, and decide for yourself what's right, and do the right thing.

That's life, Fans, right? It's the same when you're three deciding whether or not to put noodles on your fingers like your dopey friend is doing and when you're 35 trying to figure out what to tell your three-and-a-half-year-old son about noodles and fingers and friends and fun and life in a way that will make sense to him. In other words, it's hard. It's really very, very hard.

Julie stopped there thinking, "What are you saying????? Do the right thing????? What's next? Stand and deliver?????"

Then, she asked Joe what he was going to do tomorrow. She wasn't sure what he would say.

"Do the right thing."

Sometimes things come together.

We Miss You Already, Daddy!

Ted left tonight for Chicago, where he will be until Wednesday night. He left just after the bambini were bathed and pajamaed*, and was given a two-bambini hug and kisses before leaving.

The time Ted left was just before Joe's usually hang-out-with-Daddy time, and he said he still wanted "to do something." Specifically, he wanted "to cut." We nix-nayed the unsupervised use of scissors (safety scissors though they may have been), and allowed him his choice of puzzles. He picked cars. It is the most difficult of all his puzzles since the road in the picture curves around, and the colors and patterns in it repeat with more frequency. Ted set it out upstairs before he left, and as Ted walked out the door, Joe tromped up the steps, and the Birds settled in the chair. They weren't even to their last book when Julie heard Joe calling, Mommy! Mommy! I got to show you something!" Julie knew it, but didn't see it until after Clara was down: Our Hero had done it all by himself! He was very proud.

Later, Julie and Joe made up a new game. It sort of like Five Things.** Joe picks a letter, and then he and Julie think of five words that start with that letter. Tonight's letter was B: ball, bubbles, Berenice, boy, and something Julie has now forgotten.

And so, so far, so good. But, special to Chicago: We are,

Missing You In Minnesota

*Socks were donned later tonight, and only by the Sock Crazy Birdie.

**The game in which Joe had to find five things in the Richard Scarry's Best Word Book.

JCC Book Fair

This morning, the Birds met Connor and his mom Sara at the Jewish Community Center where Graham and Connor attend daycare for its book fair. (In the end, after a bit, the boys came, too.)

The other week, Julie watched Connor and his brother, Graham, in the hour before Connor's bedtime. Connor was sort of beside himself over this whole arrangement, especially when Julie told him they could go find Daddy, and then showed Connor a picture of his daddy. Connor is 20 months old so he didn't have words to say what he thought, but it was pretty clear: "Lady. That's a picture. Where's my dad? Or my mom. 'Cause you ain't either one. Where's G Man? G Man. This lady told me she was going to show me Daddy and she showed me a picture. Can you believe that? Don't go far, man."

Julie thinks she made progress today. Connor grabbed her leg twice. Clearly, he thought Julie was Sara when he did. But one of those times, he tried to play it cool and make like he did it on purpose, which meant he didn't immediately move away.

And, Julie brought Clara, who was kind of Connor's groupie (she's pretty easy on the eyes, too). The JCC is his turf, after all. Connor took off his shoes, so Birdie did, too. They did a little art (a little scribbling, a little stickering), looked at the books (Clara tried to impress Connor by trying to remove as many as possible from the shelves), pretended to listen briefly to the storytellers that were there, and visited various themed photo stations.

Joe got another balloon fishing pole which was enough to ensure that he had a good time. Clara got a monkey climbing a tree, but a part of the tree promptly popped, which was enough to make Julie unnecessarily panic about balloons generally, even before Clara put part of the balloon in her mouth, which is when Julie decided her nerves couldn't take it and took the balloon away, and Clara wailed and tried to climb over Julie's shoulder like the balloon monkey to get it back as they made their way through the parking lot to the car. (She's has to remember to get that monkey balloon out of the car before the bambini wake up in the morning and we head for school in it.)