Quid Poop Quo

Fans, it used to be that we would post most nights.  Now, the week often ends with us considering a pile of scraps of paper that we've snatched up because it was at hand--the back of an envelope, a Post-it, a daily doings sheet--on to which we've scribbled something one of the bambini has said, or a snippet of a larger conversation.  This Sunday, we bring you news from the back of an envelope, of something that happened last Saturday evening.

The bambini were getting ready to bathe which means they were brushing their teeth and using the potty, all while naked, of course.  So it happened that Joe suddenly appeared in the doorway between the hallway and the living room, sobbing, to say, "Clara did something rude to me.  She flushed my poopie down the toilet when I wanted to do it."

There are bigger bummers in life, but not really when you're almost five.  Really, your sister should read your mind and know that you wanted to flush your own poopie down the toilet because she would feel the exact same way if she stopped to consider it.

Peace was restored when a deal was brokered in which Clara permitted Joe to flush her poopie down the toilet.  (Thank God she had to go poopie.)

Our First Kindergarten Roundup

Tonight, Julie, Ted, and Joe went to what's known as Kindergarten Roundup.  It's different from the fall's Kindergarten Open House in that one registers one's child for kindergarten at the Roundup.  Or, at least, one tries.  Julie was admonished that Joe would not be registered for kindergarten until his immunization record was received, despite the fact that he will not receive all of the requisite immunizations until he turns five in July.  Apparently one turns them in incomplete and then again, once completed.  Similarly, one turns in the bus transportation form incomplete as necessary.  It is necessary if, at the Roundup, one enters one's child's name into the lottery for full-day kindergarten and one thus has, of course, no idea whether one will need bus service and if so, when, and between the school and where.

By now, Fans, you have realized that the people being rounded up are the parents of the class of 2026.

While the parents listened to a presentation delivered by the principal in the gym, the members of the class of 2026 were taken to one of the four kindergarten rooms by a kindergarten teacher, depending on what color the string was holding the card with their name on it around their neck.  Joe was in the purple room. Joe wrote his own name on his card.  (This would be the first time Julie chocked back tears.  Clearly, it's going to be a wet road to 2026.)  Joe went off with the purple room's teacher, swept along in the tide; one second he was holding Julie's hand and then he wasn't. (FANS!  More holding back of tears.)  As it happened, Joe's friend from Pre-K, Eric, was also in the purple room.  Joe had a great time visiting the kindergarten room. He reported that they sang a song and colored a picture.

Oh, Fans. . .There we sat in the gym.  It had an orange stripe around it about a third of the way down.  The muscle group of he week was the abdominals.  Empowering sayings abounded.  So many that we can't remember any of them anymore.  But we learned other things:
1.  If you want a specific teacher, or don't want a specific teacher, tell Principal Johnson in May when you fill out your child's profile at his or her kindergarten assessment.  Don't be the parent tells him in August that you want your child moved to a different room.  They will talk about you behind your back as a problem parent.
2. Get ready to volunteer!  You might be ostracized if you do not volunteer.  You can sign up tonight to start getting e-mails!  PARK PRIDE!  (That's St. Louis Park Pride, Fans.)
3.  Kindergarten apparently involves a lot of glue.  The supplies list included 12 glue sticks--!!!!!
4.  Julie at least will have to take the first day of kindergarten off from work.  She was teary-eyed over the school supplies list, too, and at least two other times as well.  None of this bodes well for the first day of kindergarten.  She will need to practice being brave so that she does not embarrass Joe (or Ted or Clara for that matter).
5.  It's going to be 2026 before we know it.

Chuck E Cheese's

Title says enough, right fans?  The occasion was Joe's friend Owen's birthday.  Ted was the handler for this adventure, and though it was clear Owen's parents were well prepared for parents to drop their children off, Ted stayed - partly for Joe's benefit and partly for his own.  After clinging to each other for a little while as the sounds, sights, and smells overwhelmed them both, Joe got into the spirit and checked out the big cheese himself (or at least his animatronic self).  From there the boys were let loose into the arcade.  Joe kept with Ted (thankfully) and they played whatever games Joe thought looked interesting.   Ted was lobbying for Skee Ball, but Joe only lasted one round.  Joe seemed more interested in the car racing games where you sit in the seat, and if there were pedals on the floor Joe would sit on Ted's lap.  It should be noted that the Raleigh House is anti-gun (pretend, real, and imaginary) to the point that when Joe was making his Christmas list he told us that "we don't get toys with guns."  But in an arcade gun play is hard to avoid, which is how Ted found himself trying to instruct Joe on how to pump the shotgun to reload so he could shoot the bear on the screen.  This is the society we live in.  The good news is that Joe quickly lost interest in said shotgun and wandered off.  The bad news is Ted's frugal nature kicked in and knowing he had 2 more "lives" left on that token, pumped the shotgun and got him some bears.  After some pizza, cake and a rousing rendition of "Happy Birthday" sung by Chuck E Cheese and his handlers for the four birthday parties (all at once...efficiency is the name of the game) it was about time to go.  Joe's ticket haul was 19.  That gets you nothing at the tchotke store - you need 75 just to get a little eraser.  So Joe donated his tickets to the birthday boy, and we hope his household has one more eraser in it tonight.

Joe and Austin trying to figure out the animatronic Chuck E Cheese.  By the end of the party, about 12 of the kids were standing up on the ledge grabbing his nose.

Charming, no?

Raleigh House Spa Grand Reopening!

Fans!  We have been meaning to report that Ted has finished the Raleigh House spa renovations!  It reopened for business over the weekend!

Bathing in water from the Land of the Sky Blue Waters!  Minerals spring water has nothing on us.

Before signs of real use had been reintroduced.

The other side.  (We know.  It's so vast it couldn't be captured in one frame.)

An Actual Dinner Table Conversation

Clara [whining]: Berenice licked my pants. . .

Ted [emphatically ignoring whining; brightly!]: What?  Oh!  Your pants?  Berenice licked your pants?! They must taste good.  Do they taste good?

Clara [whining]: Nooo. . .They're clothes.

Scene.