Artistic Genius

This afternoon, post-nap, it was Joe's turn to go to Paint Your Plate with Julie. They met Marco and his mom Amanda there. It's true: Julie may have been just the tiniest bit apprehensive about how this outing was going to go down, but she figured if we could manage to get in and out without pulling down an entire shelf of ceramics awaiting painting, or otherwise breaking anything, it would be a success. Fans: SUCCESS! Julie had pre-ordained that Joe would paint a plate, a reasonably wide, and flat canvas upon which Our Hero could exercise his artistic will. Initially, she had thought that she would ask Joe to select three colors, but he merrily choose yellow, purple, blue (two shades), and pink, and Julie didn't have the heart to squelch his delight at the glaze container dispenser. He later went back for green, and also helped himself to Marco's brown, though he was making plenty of brown on his own by that point. As you can see, Our Hero created sort of a contemporary piece--and it could not be contained on the front of the plate alone (so avant-garde as well). About 45 minutes later, two little boys walked down the street (holding their mothers' hands!) screaming nonsense words, utterly non-pulsed that their masterpieces were not accompanying them home. Success.

Sit there and pet Berenice

As loyal readers know, our sofa is in the shop getting a tune up. That leaves us with one chair for the whole family to share (which occasionally happens all at once). After Joe's bath, our routine is to put his diaper and pjs on on the sofa, but of course we can't do that right now. So now we sometimes do all of this on the chair, or standing up. The odds that Ted has remembered to get the diaper and pjs in advance of Clara going down to sleep is 50:50, so a common refrain heard is, "sit there and pet Berenice" while Ted sneaks back into the kids' room to grab Joe's evening wear. Usually Joe will just sit there with one eye on Berenice, but recently he has actually sat there and petted Berenice which is very cute to see especially while wrapped up in his towel and crammed into the chair.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

As Joe and Clara's legion fans know, we here at (Adventures With) Joe and Clara Jane, are committed to bringing you a slice of life verite (though not, apparently, the appropriate accents on our French words)--the good, the bad, and the ugly. Fans, it's been ugly.

It all began Monday evening at pick up. Joe flew into Clara's pick-up room as usual, but then announced he did not want to go home. Well! Nevertheless, home we headed. By the time we'd gotten to the street outside school, Our Hero added to his list of things he did not want to do holding hands on the way to the car.

Here, we pause to note to our readership, that we have very few Non-Negotiable Rules (sometimes also referenced with the following phrases: Not Up For Debate and Not Going to Committee). In fact, the list of Non-Negotiable Rules is but two items long:

1. We hold hands while we are by the street or in the parking garage.

2. We wash our hands before we eat, particularly when we are returning home from the germ-infested hot zone otherwise known as school.

So "I don't want to hold hands," are what we might also call "fightin' words." Joe was asked again to please hold a hand. Again he refused. Julie handed Clara to Ted and asked him to take her to the car and it was at that point that all hell broke loose. Naturally, then, Our Hero desperately wanted to hold hands, but naturally, only Daddy's hand would do. When Julie reached for his hand, he broke away and ran! Not very far! But it was at that moment Julie was--all together, Readers!--OVER IT! Her heart was pounding because she and Joe were by the street. You know, where the cars rush by. Which is why we--wait for it!--HOLD HANDS! So Julie crouched down and softly told Joe he could hold her hand and walk to the car, or he could be carried. Joe said he did not want to hold hands, so Julie picked him up. Joe continued to wail for holding Daddy's hand but upped it several decibels and added bear cat thrashing to the mix. He thrashed so much that Julie could not buckle him into the car seat right away, and his shoe came off in the melee. ("I WANT TO PUT ON MY SHOE! I DON'T WANT TO PUT ON MY SHOE! I WANT TO PUT ON MY SHOE! I DON'T WANT TO PUT ON MY SHOE!" Clara is of course now crying. After all, this drama is unfolding on the first day she was denied the 3pm bottle and she's all "What gives? Let's go get the din-din, folks!"

Eventually, Joe was buckled in to his car seat over his vociferous objections, and his shoe was put back on, and off we went. He wailed intermittently the whole way home, but once we got home, he shuffled inside without much ado. The poor little guy even attempted to shuffle with his shoe not properly on for a few steps he was trying so hard to get this all right.

Once inside however, the uneasy peace dissolved because of course, it is once we were inside that Our Hero needed to wash his hands. But really, it was last night that the battle royale occurred over whether Joe would wash his hands.

Following Monday's fireworks, all went well at pick up Tuesday. But Our Hero was not to be persuaded on the hygiene front. By the time he dained to wash his hands, Clara had been bathed and was in her pajamas and ready to be nursed. Joe asked Julie if she would help him wash his hands, then told her he did not want her help, but then broke out in heartbroken sobs as soon as she left to nurse Clara. ("I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN! I WANT MOMMY! I WANT TO DO IT AGAIN!) So one inconsolable little boy wailed upstairs in one beleaguered father's arms, while one weary mommy sobbed quietly upstairs as one overtired baby girl tried to nurse.

Joe was wailing in his sleep last night. We woke up in the three o'clock hour to Joe sobbing, "I want to do it again. . .I want to do it again. . .I want to do it again" by which he meant he wanted to wash his hands again. Poor little guy. Still trying to wrestle this all out. As we've written before, it is as hard to be little and not in charge as it is to be big and in charge. Such is life sometimes.

Sometimes, however, life is thus: last night, on the way home, Joe was jabbering away in the backseat, and he noted to Julie that he got her pink flowers at Trader Joe's because pink is his favorite color because he used pink paper to make his valentines. He said it all just like that, just tripping from one thing to the next. Julie was tickled pink.

Flowers For Mommy

In addition to teaching Joe that we do not have to put our already-removed socks back on before bathing for the purposes of removing them to then remove sock fuzz, Ted is also teaching Our Hero how to treat the ladies. On Saturdays, when the boys return from the stores and Little Gym, Joe will often burst into the house, bursting with the news that he has gotten Julie flowers. It's quite a sight--this sweetheart of a little boy wielding (there is no other word for it) a bouquet of flowers that is nearly as big as he is. Bring your mother flowers. . .Joe is in good hands, because Ted really is the best at many things, but most especially living out lessons like these.

A Sock Moment

Our Hero's new thing is taking off his socks and picking the sock fuzz from between his toes. Note the intensity and determination he brings to this task. Now, you might be thinking, "Well, at least he's occupied!" And, Fans, you would be right, except that if, come bath time, he happens to have already removed his socks, he has to find them again, put them on, take them off, and check for any errant sock fuzz and remove it if any is found. It can really hold up bath time, and be very frustrating, which is one night, Julie heard Ted, behind the closed bathroom door, exasperatedly explaining to Joe that if our socks are off, they're off, and we just leave them off, and we do not always have to pick sock fuzz from our feet before we take a bath.* Some days, you know it's futile, but it's so hard to roll with the sock fuzz.

*See also January 17, 2011, A Mitten Moment, http://joeandclara.blogspot.com/2011/01/mitten-moment.html. Same thing.