Bedtime Travails Continue Mostly Unabated, Our Hero Attempts Bold New Course

Fans, as we bring you this bulletin, the bambini are attempting to put themselves to bed at a reasonable hour while their respective biggest fan is in the bed less than six feet across the way.  It's been rough going of late.  Clara's latest shenanigan has been to leap out of bed the moment we've departed to turn on the light.  Luckily, Ted remembered that one can turn the light off with the ceiling fan's pull chain, rendering the light switch superfluous.  (It's a good thing, too, because Julie was ready to remove the switch plate cover and cut the wires to best her daughter.  She does tend to go extremes.  Oh, she WILL show them.  It was as she contemplated this move that she called for Ted reinforcements.)  Birdie's other go-to bedtime disruption maneuver is to antagonize Joe by getting all up in his grill.  It's all F 'n' G until Joe dissolves into tears, which is what happened rather quickly tonight.

So Julie sent Clara out of the room and sat down to have a chat with Joe about the two things he needs to be working on.  First, the resurgence in the reliance on crying to solve problems.  Julie pointed out that he was pretty creative and pretty smart, so she knew he could use his brain more to figure out a better way to solve his problems.  She reminded him that he was going to be going to kindergarten in the fall, and he had to have this figured out by then.  Second, she said he had to stand up for himself.  Joe broke in and said, "I'm going turn and face the wall."  (This would mean he wouldn't be facing Clara.)

Fans.  He said it with such conviction.  It was such a great moment.  Julie said "YES!" and held her hand for a high five.  She said, "You go!  And you stick to your guns!"

And Joe said, "You said gun."

Sigh.

Julie said that was true, but that it was part of an expression--like raining buckets, which means it's raining a lot, but not actually raining buckets.  But still, point taken, and she'd think of some other way to say what she meant and came up with "Stand your ground," right about the same time that Joe said, "It's raining baseballs!"

Sure.

And now Birdie is down there making a racket, but there's no sound from Our Hero.