Can't Handle It

As Julie typed in the last post, Joe came up twice to hover less than two inches from her elbow and attempt conversation.  The second time, he said, "Mommy, I can't handle it.  I can't handle waiting."

So we're off the frappie hour.

Operation Bucket Filling

It hasn't been all frappie hours and strawberry rain boots around here though, Fans.  The first picture below was taken after Julie arrived home from her book club on Wednesday night.  If you're looking for Clara, we should tell you that she is the figure completely covered by the blanket on top of the mattress that is in the middle of the floor.  The night before, she slept on a mattress that she'd stripped bare but hadn't relocated to the floor.  She stays dry at night about 50% of the time, but that night, Julie lifted her up while Ted slid some GoodNites pads under her.  Naturally, the following night, on which this first picture was taken when she'd again stripped the mattress bare before relocating it, we took a chance, and awoke to a pee-soaked mattress.  Silver lining: we now know how to remove urine stains and smells from a mattress.*  The night after this picture was taken, Clara slept on the floor with nothing more than a blanket.  This after her mattress was removed in a huff and pitched on the porch just before the door was slammed, locked, and the key removed and placed on a high shelf.

As you may have sensed from the devolution described above, Clara spent a fair amount of time after being put down to bed this week acting like a ferrel animal.  Stripping off her underwear and pajama pants and running around in only her shirt (sleeves are still tricky for her)--around the bambini's room, in and out of it, around the down stairs--screaming, naturally.  A go-to behavior correction tactic for us is ignoring unwanted behaviors.  But this tactic has a lower rate of success when one has two children and one of them is doing something the other finds hilarious.  When ignoring the behavior fails to work, as it inevitably does, we yell.  This tactic, too, has a lower rate of success when one has two children who find this behavior hilarious as well, until one yells so loud one or both bambini start crying.

So.  Clearly it was time for a new tack.  We went back to basics, figuring that perhaps the bambini were acting out because they felt they weren't getting enough positive, focused, individual attention.  Of course there is a part of you that thinks, "MY WORLD AND EVERY WAKING MOMENT REVOLVES AROUND ONE OR BOTH OF THEM!!!!!  HOW CAN I POSSIBLY PAY ANY MORE ATTENTION TO THEM UNLESS I CEASE ALL ACTIVITIES OF DAILY LIVING?!?!?!"  (You think these sort of thoughts in all caps.)  Here's what we've done: we are employing man-to-man defense once the bambini are out of the bathtub, we are both reading to them, and they are being read to separately once again.  So one parent helps one bambino into pajamas as needed and then that parent reads to and puts that bambino to bed.  Everyone's bucket gets filled better because the bambini are each getting focused attention, and we aren't correcting exponentially expanding misbehaviors.

Since we began Operation Bucket Filling, we have had two nights of progressively better behavior post-tuck in.  Hopefully sweet dreams are just around the corner.

*You combine 8 ounces of hydrogen peroxide with three tablespoons of baking soda and a drop of liquid dishwashing detergent in a spray bottle.  Then you douse the stain with the mixture within 20 minutes of mixing it up.  When it dries, the stain and smells are gone.  (What did people do before baking soda?)

Wednesday night

Friday night, night two of Operation Bucket Filling

Ferrel no more?

Monkeys only on the pajamas.

Of Frappie Hour and Strawberry Rain Boots

Fans, we write to you as we await the start of Frappie Hour at the Starfoxes, which the Starfoxes Powers That Be have thoughtfully scheduled to coincide with the end of Our Birdie's nap, thus providing the perfect diversion on yet another chilly, wet Saturday afternoon in Minnesota. . .in May.*  When we--the three of us who are awake--decided on this plan at about 2pm, Joe said, "I know a good activity: getting ready."  We admire the hustle.  He is currently attempting to hasten the awaking of his little sister by playing in the sink with water and plastic cups.  Even though what is involved is water and plastic cups, he is still managing to make a racket that can be heard all the way upstairs where this reporter sends these words out to you across the ether, Dearest Fans.  (With any luck, the sink will overflow!  Now that would be fun.)

No doubt when we make the trek to the neighborhood Starfoxes, we will do it in our rain boots.  Clara was sporting hers this morning when Julie took her to do the Whole Foods grocery run.  As it turned out, strawberries were on sale so there was a huge display of them right by the store's entrance.  Clara, breathless with excitement, bellowed, "Just like my strawberry rain boots!"

*We're not bitter.

Birdie, in her strawberry rain boots

Birdie's New Friends

Clara added some new friends to the bedtime gang after opening her birthday presents.  The crew now includes Minnie, Daisy Duck, Dora, two small dolls about six inches tall named "Amazing Ashley" and "Preppy Paige," (both of whom came with wee inch-high accessories--brushes for their luxurious locks, and dogs--both of which were immediately "lost") and a Care Bear.  (The Chloes have been relegated to the steerage in the basket.  Fickle are the affections of the three-year-old.)  The Care Bear is pink with a rainbow on its tummy which makes it Cheer Bear.  But Cheer Bear doesn't have the currency as say your Minnie, or your Dora.  So of course Joe asked what Cheer Bear's name was, and of course--of course--Clara christened "her" Bubba.  Cheer Bear does look like a Bubba.

Reading With Interrupting Him and Her

We have been reading a lot of Berenstain Bears books of late.  (The B. Bears, as Julie likes to call them.)  We own a few of them, but recently checked out a treasury of five or so from the library.  Julie thinks they are in a treasury because they aren't classics of the series.  In any case, they feel like they are on their way to becoming Raleigh House classics.  In any case, this B. Bears frenzy has coincided with with Joe insisting on every last word on the page being read. Is there a picture of someone laughing punctuated with a "Heh heh heh!"?  (The B. Bears and the New Baby.)  Is there a chart with chores meted out for acts of rudeness?  (The B. Bears Forget Their Manners.)  What we need is a volume entitled The Berenstain Bears and the Trouble With Interrupting, though incidentally interrupting is an infraction highlighted in The B. Bears Forget Their Manners, though despite reading it 57 times in the past two weeks, this reporter cannot recall the punishment.  (But name calling--the ultimate in misbehavior down a sunny dirt road in Bear Country--is cleaning out the cellar.  And if you think it's easy keeping a cellar clean in a tree house, well, you've never tried it.  So says The B. Bears and the Messy Room.)

The B. Bears craze has also coincided with Clara beginning to tack down gendered pronouns.  There was rather a lot of stopping for a while to denote him and her and you can see, can't you, how it would be rather a lot in a book with a Papa Bear ("That's a him."), Mama Bear ("That's a her."), Brother Bear ("That's a him."), and Sister Bear ("That's a her.").  Mercifully, she seems to have got at least the Family Bear sorted.

Clara also liked to read herself sometimes.  Oh, never mind you mind, Dear Readers, you, that she's also still tacking down the alphabet.  Our Birdie has never let anything like her actual abilities stand in the way of her ambitions.  Tonight, Julie--and Clara--read a Cars pre-reader called Old, New, Red, Blue.  It is a scintillating exploration of opposites using characters and scenes from Cars: "Old truck.  New car.  Red truck.  Blue car.  Shiny and bright.  Dull and brown."  Eventually, one reaches "Dirty car."

You know what comes next, Brigade.  Birdie did, too, and she used context to fill it right in: "Get.  A.  Car.  Wash."  Naturally The Professor was quick to interrupt with "No!  CLEAN CAR!"