In the Bonds

We have been meaning to report on the nature of the bambini's bond these days, when on Mother's Day, we happened to film this clip that captures it just so.  That is to say that Joe looks out for Clara, and if Clara does not quite have the wherewithal to do the same, she does think Joe is the cat's pajamas.  But not so much that he can have whatever he wants.  Joe, naturally, was just "saving"* the item in question for her--so, like, chilllax, Bird--oh, but he would note (in a whine) that Clara isn't sharing.  (As though he is always inclined to do so.  Sharing is always a virtue for which we should strive when it is required of someone else who has something one wants.)

*This whole "saving" concept is apparently sweeping through his world.  You remember "saving," Fans.  Joe thinks it's a whole new concept of course.  Things with which he is playing that he is forced to leave momentarily by, say, the call of nature, he will ask to be "saved."  Mother's Day morning was the first time we've seen him use the idea as a kind of explicative, preemptive argument as to why he was playing with something that Clara had been playing with first--but then put down.  Really, this makes the bracelet fair game, since we do not save things at Raleigh House, but clearly, there is not widespread agreement on this point.

In the Middle | The Video

For those of you not familiar with the KinderCare songbook, here is a video of Clara, and Joe, singing and dancing to In The Middle yesterday evening.  You can hear Clara singing it before she notices the camera is on her.  She then fades out a bit, but usually, she will sing the whole song.  There was a time when she would request the song and it would sound like she was asking to be sung Clara in the Mango.

You Turn Around. . .

What a weekend!  Now, it's true: when one lives with a preschooler and toddler, "What a weekend!" can mean all kinds of things.  In this case, it means what a fabulous Mother's Day weekend.  We have so much to report--and we shall--all in good time.  For now, here is how this Mother's Day began.  At the end of this clip, you'll see Clara say, "Me!" meaning she would like to be the next person to whom the song is sung.  She's like the caller at a square dance when we sing songs that are sung to someone, like Happy Birthday.

The day was bookended with song.  After Julie had read books to Clara this evening, the Birds snuggled on the couch.  When Julie and Joe snuggle after books, Julie likes to ask Joe, of all the things he did in a day, which was his favorite.  Clara is too little to understand that question and so keeps her unwitting secret counsel, but she likes a good sing-along, so that's what the Birds do.  Tonight, as is usually the case, Clara's lead-off request was "ABCs."  Eventually, the Birds worked around to some little ditty they sing at KinderCare in the infant and toddler rooms that goes like this:
Clara, Clara, Clara's in the middle!
Jump in, jump in, do a little wiggle!
Turn around, and sit down!
We went back and forth; Clara, Mommy, Clara, Mommy, Clara, Mommy. . .and closed it down with that.

This is Julie's third Mother's Day and it is funny now, when we cannot imagine this life without them, to remember then, when we could not imagine this life with them.  You jump in.  You do a little wiggle.  You turn around.  And you're someone's mommy, someone's daddy.

A New Day

This one.  This one, Brigade, as you know, has been giving us fits lately by pitching fits whenever something does not go her way, or at least as she has decided it should in her little mind.  We try very hard to let her try to do the things she wants to do by herself (everything), even when we know at the outset that she will not be able to accomplish these tasks (a good portion of everything), and wait for her to ask for help.  It will not always be so difficult, we know, but it's all rather awful right now, as Birdie does not also know that it won't always be so awful and, of course, she doesn't have all the words she needs to get her points through to these numbskulls with whom she's living.  So we have scenes like the one that unfolded at dinner the night before last when Birdie wanted to sprinkle her own parmesan cheese on her pasta.  Not having quite acquired the light flicker of the hand that creates the sprinkling of cheese, Birdie's heavy-handed attempt landed a fair amount of cheese on the table as well.  That's when things went off the rails.  Birdie is big on wiping up all spills immediately.  We are big on eating our food while it is still warm.  Really, we're big on just eating, and if we cleaned up every spill right away, or honor every request for more milk/water/juice/fruit/chicken nuggets/bread/you get the idea the moment they were issued, we'd never eat more than three bites before the "I'm/I done" bells sounded.  Literally.  We do not exaggerate, Brigade.

So Birdie wailed for nearly the whole of dinner, with renewed volume and force when her napkin fell on the floor.  (She'd been trying to mop up the parmesan herself with it, and it got away from her.)  She pretty much wailed her way through bath, diaper and pajama donning, and reading.  Rough times all the way around.  (Joe said his ears hurt.)

But, we have had a breakthrough.  Though one knows that all of this havoc is normal in a house with a toddler (and preschooler), it does help to hear from someone else that it is, yes, in fact, all normal, and that moreover (more important), we are responding in the best way possible, so stay the course.  Julie had called our beloved pediatrician to say that while we thought we were responding appropriately such that one day Clara would not dissolve into tears at every turn, tensions were high, patience was in short supply, and nerves were frayed.  And our pediatrician replied, "Well, of course!"  And even just that was a comfort, which is why she is so fabulous.  So we got the this-is-normal-and-is-awful-but-keep-up-the-good-work pep talk, which allowed us to get back in the game with renewed confidence.  She also reminded us that sometimes it helps to make things a game.

So yesterday, we played "Where is Clara's foot/head/hand?" as we were getting her dressed.  In this game, one looks with great effort and comedy (naturally) for Clara's foot/head/hand in her pant leg/shirt/ sleeve.  Birdie thinks it's hilarious.

So there.  We are back!  It's a new day, and a new game.

Reading Maurice Sendak

As long time Fans know, we here at Raleigh House are huge Fans ourselves of Maurice Sendak's In the Night Kitchen.  We like Where the Wild Things Are, too, of course*, but In the Night Kitchen holds a very special place in our hearts because as you might recall, Fans, there were the first words that Joe ever read. It's true he may have been parroting what he had memorized, but they were the first words he attempted with Julie's finger running along beneath them.  So we were sad yesterday when we learned that Maurice Sendak had passed away, and thought it only fitting that we read In the Night Kitchen and Where the Wild Things Are before bed.

Julie [as she walks up the stairs]: "Pal?  It's time for  books. . ."
Joe: "How many do we have time for?"
Julie: "Well, we could read. . ."
Ted [breaking in]: " Do you want to read the Maurice Sendak books?"
Julie: "Oh yeah!  It's a special Maurice Sendak day!  Should we read in In the Night Kitchen and Where the Wild Things Are?!"

[Joe starts down the stairs.]

Julie: "Pal?  Do you want to read the Maurice Sendak books?"
Joe: "No."

[Scene.]

So we read a set of four pre-readers, about Mouse (rather than Worm).  Or rather, Joe read them, and read them like it weren't no thing.  He stumbled less than a handful of times (still on the word another), but you should see him begin to sound something out without prompting (which is how he got another in no time at all), or look at the picture for a clue.  It's really something.  He's really, really doing it!

So it wasn't In the Night Kitchen and Where the Wild Things Are, but it all seemed a fitting Sendak tribute all the same.

*Remember when Julie once teased Joe that she would eat him up, and he replied, "I love you so"?